Do you have moments in life when you feel sad and want to cry, but you can’t because you need to keep it together at work, driving or, in front of other people?
Do you sometimes wish you had more control over your emotions?
Do you wish you could flick a switch and feel better?
Then, how would you like to have more emotional control in the meeting, in front of other people, the kids, the ex, the in-laws, the boss etc……
IMAGINE if you had a remote control that could flick that switch for you? Heres how:
Step 1. Identify your ‘GO TO’ – happy place!
Think of a time when you were really, really happy, the happiest memory you can conjure. What was it like? What were you doing? Try to remember every detail. What you were feeling (physically and emotionally), what you could smell, taste, see, hear? What colours stand out? What was the weather like? Perhaps there was a light breeze you could feel or, the sun warming your skin. Perhaps it was the adrenaline rush or, was it an overwhelming feeling of calm? Now, try to remember every detail of that moment, in sequence from start to finish.
Step 2. Re-telling the story.
How would you begin to explain the story from start to finish? Pretend you have to tell this story to an alien. Luckily, this alien speaks your language. If they were experiencing it, what would they be feeling? What would they notice? What does that feel like? What does it taste like? Smell like? What was it about this experience that makes you happy?
Write the story down, remembering every tiny detail. A bit like you would tell them about a football match. You would need to begin with, explaining the rules, the competition, the history of the opposing team, team colours and theme song, the shape of the ball, the way the football bounces off in random directions, the umpires, weather, uniforms, feeling the adrenaline rush, the smell of the linament, the coach yelling, the runners relaying messages, the feeling of thirst, the downpour of rain, the score, your opponent, breathlessness, pushing yourself, your thoughts, the tingling in your hands, the contraction of your muscles, the smell of the grass, the crowd cheering/jeering, marking the ball (and that’s just the first bounce), from start to finish.
Step 3. What do you notice?
As you begin to remember the story and write it down. What do you notice? How are you feeling now? When you think of your happy place, does it make you smile? Perhaps it makes you laugh. The more detail of the happy memory you recollect, the more connected you will feel to the happy moment, even when you may have been feeling quite sad previously.
This is your happy place! It is your ‘GO TO’!
A quick stop over, and you’re coping well again and able to continue to better manage those uncomfortable life situations. Sometimes, it’s just not appropriate to let yourself have a good cry, no matter how much you may want to. So, everyone needs to ‘GO TO your happy place. Wherever it may take you. Whatever the memory, no matter how recent or historical. If the memory makes you happy. It doesn’t matter when it happened. Just that you remember it. Every little detail.
Step 4. The details
Now you have written it down, you may wish to keep it and re-read it every now and then. Until, you can remember it verbatim. You can continue to add details as you continue to focus on this happy memory. You don’t have to show anyone. You can just write it down to help you remember every detail. What else? The more you concentrate on remembering your happy place, the more easily your mind will be able to return to this happy place, when you want or need to.
Step 5. Make a list
So, what are you waiting for, give it a try. Maybe you have several stories you can recall. Lucky you! Make a list and see how much detail you can remember about each one.
Step 6. Visit often
So, next time you are feeling sad, lonely, anxious, upset or just a bit overwhelmed, ‘GO TO’ your happy place. You can do it anywhere, ANY time. ENJOY! Now, practice, practice, practice!
We invite you to share your GO TO – HAPPY PLACE, in the comments section below.
Tip: photo albums can help to jog your memory of happy times.
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